“MERICA” Eagle T-Shirt

The “MERICA”  Eagle T-Shirt

Because Subtle Can Eat a Bag of British Tea

LISTEN UP, YOU MAGNIFICENT FREEDOM-LOVING BASTARDS! This isn’t just another shitty t-shirt – this is a cotton-based middle finger to mediocrity featuring a bald eagle so fucking majestic it makes other eagles look like pidgeons with identity crises. The eagle isn’t just big, it’s “making your ex’s new boyfriend cry in his Prius” big.

Features That’ll Make Your Freedom Hard:

• Eagle so goddamn detailed it’ll make your nipples salute
• Text bigger than your truck nuts
• Colors that’ll make snowflakes need therapy
• Premium cotton softer than that one dude who called your mullet “excessive”

Built For:

• People who shotgun beers while shotgunning beers
• Patriots who tell their GPS to fuck off because they know where they’re going
• Anyone who’s ever been kicked out of a Walmart for excessive freedom
• Champions who punch their steak to make it more tender
• Heroes who name their hangover “The Revolutionary War II”

Technical Specs:

• Eagle wingspan wider than your stance at last call
• Thread count higher than your blood alcohol freedom level
• Breathable fabric because freedom makes you sweat beer
• Visible from space (just like your drunk uncle at Christmas)

WARNING: May Cause:

• Spontaneous “HELL YEAHS” at funeral homes
• Urge to headbutt commies
• Excessive chest-bumping with strangers
• Ability to smell weakness from 100 yards
• Uncontrollable urge to deep fry your deep-fried food
• Random outbursts of “COME AT ME BRO” at passing aircraft

Sizing: From “1776” to “Big Enough To Start Your Own Damn Country”

Care Instructions: Wash it in whiskey, dry it on your truck’s hood, or just let freedom take care of that sh*t. Ironing is for communists.

Note: If you need to ask if this shirt is too aggressive for your office, you need a new fucking job.

Pairs Well With:

• Jean shorts that used to be jeans
• That one bar fight story you keep embellishing
• Your court-ordered anger management classes
• The overwhelming smell of burnouts and bad decisions

Not responsible for any bar fights, noise complaints, or international incidents caused by raw patriotic energy while wearing this shirt. Will absolutely high-five you for any of the above.

.: All  shirts feature pre-shrunk cotton for size retention and a signature sewn-in twill label.
.: Made using 100% U.S. cotton. 

MADE IN ‘MERICA!!!