The “Professional Napper” Expert Level T-Shirt

Because Sleep Is My Love Language, Asholes*

Listen up, you glorious champions of unconsciousness! This isn’t just another shirt – it’s a badge of honor for those who’ve turned avoiding consciousness into an Olympic sport. Featuring a masterfully crafted image of a certified sleep specialist doing what they do best: not giving a single f**k in their throne of slumber (aka a La-Z-Boy).

What You’re Looking At:

• One magnificent bastard achieving peak relaxation
• La-Z-Boy recliner looking comfier than your ex’s rebound
• Position that would make chiropractors write angry letters
• Truly inspirational levels of “don’t wake me up unless the house is on fire”

Technical Specs:

• Fabric softer than your commitment to plans
• Design that says “I could fall asleep at a metal concert”
• Print quality sharp enough to see drool details
• Comfort level that might actually put you to sleep

Perfect For:

• Professional-level afternoon snoozers
• Masters of the “I’m just resting my eyes” technique
• People who consider staying awake a rookie move
• Champions who turn meetings into meditation sessions
• Anyone who’s ever fallen asleep standing up

WARNING – Side Effects Include:

• Spontaneous napping in inappropriate places
• Ability to sleep through natural disasters
• Sudden urge to test horizontal surfaces
• Automatic immunity to energy drinks
• Random people asking if you’re okay
• Your coffee giving up on you

Sizing: From “Power Nap” to “Hibernation Mode”

Care Instructions:

• Wash whenever you wake up enough to care
• Dry on whatever surface you pass out on
• Or just sleep in it, we’re not your mom
• If it starts snoring, you’re doing it right

Best Worn While:

• “Reviewing documents” at your desk
• “Actively listening” in meetings
• Testing gravity in various locations
• Practicing advanced meditation techniques
• Setting new personal records for consecutive hours slept

Pairs Well With:

• That couch indent that’s perfectly you-shaped
• The complete collection of excuses for being late
• A playlist of “meetings” that are actually naps
• Your doctor’s concern about your vitamin D levels
• A complete lack of f**ks about anyone’s opinion on your sleep schedule

Note: This shirt is so comfortable, it’s been banned in several states for causing mass productivity drops. Not responsible for any promotions missed or meetings slept through while wearing.

 

Warning: May cause involuntary eye closure. Do not operate heavy machinery… actually, just don’t operate anything at all. Take a nap instead.

.: The tee is made with medium fabric (6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)) consisting of high quality, 100% ring-spun US cotton for long-lasting comfort.
.: The relaxed fit keeps the wearer comfy in both casual and semi-formal settings while the crew neckline delivers that classic, neat style which makes it perfect for accessorizing.
.: The pre-shrunk fabric ensures a consistently great fit. 
.: All shirts feature pre-shrunk cotton for size retention and a signature sewn-in twill label.
.: Made using 100% US cotton 

MADE IN ‘MERICA